Monday, March 5, 2007

CKH3 Run no 97 (or, the MILFCock Hash)

1) OK, wankers, since Grannylingus, LDS and I were probably the only sober ones in the bunch, I guess it falls to me to write the hash trash for Saturday's run.

If you don't like it, DRINK!

So, pre-lube at the Lounge in the Village - Just Dani, LDS, Just Leokesh (sp?), Just Tess, Grannylingus, Nuthin' But Net, Q 'n' A, Bloody Z, Anal Bead Chainsaw, Cock Scratch Fever (Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh) and Just Nick, LML, aRgoNutz and who knows who else showed. I did drink SOME beer, so I really can't remember.

We were drinking beer (go figure) and racking our brains to find a name for the Dani when hares Nascock, who is apparently suffering from Bird Flu or SARS, and MILF showed.

LML did chalk talk after the hares were away and then the pack launched in seemingly every direction after we gave virgins Just Leokesh, Just Tess and Just Nick the lowdown (and for Kimchi that's low).

First check was on the intersection, then there was a disturbing dearth of markings until NBN found one flour puff in a tunnel under the road and LML stumbled across the playground check. We jumped off the swings, crawled through the concrete tubes and then set off in search of the next trail marks. We found two in a field. Then nothing. Most of the pack went off to the right, up the hill and promptly got lost. Bloody Z and aRgoNutz found the actual trail, which the rest of the pack was still studiously ignoring, and caught the hares.

The rest of us eventually found an intersection and got back on trail. We ran into the hares leaving the beer check, they explained they had already been snared, and then we drank brass monkeys and waited for the rest of the pack to catch up. By the way, Shut the Fuck Up, from P2H4 caught up with the pack.

On out, followed the trail to the second beer stop, which was in MILF's garage. Cock Scratch Fever (Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh), Just Nick and Just Tess never showed up. After some cell phone tom-foolery, we located them and CSF loaded them into his truck to take them to the end. Just Dani had to bail to go to the BANF Film Festival - and wanker Brownie picked her up to take her (we think he didn't run trail because his Air Force PT test hurt his vagina). Dani will definitely get down-downs and a shitty name for that one!

The rest of the pack headed on out again, ran into the shadow of the mountain as it got progressively colder, climbed into the back of CSF's truck and rode back to MILF's for the on after.

Virgins had to split a hot dog with their sponsors using only their mouths (interesting for CSF and Nick), then do their down-downs. NBN was amongst those nominated for the Hashit for peeing in Granny's truck Friday night, but Bloody Z ended up "winning" it for having a wounded dog (oh, and there was all that crap about flying to Texas to Hash without telling anyone).

Swing Low, circle ended, we drank beer, played beer pong and Guitar Hero.

I am sure I forgot something. Drink for being Kimchi!



Marissa said...

Don't forget Just Nick puking all over MILFs garage. It was classic. He was holding his cup, then all of the sudden, puking into his cup. Puke shot out and hit NBN on the shoes and legs. Just Nick then continued puking and not listening to us yelling to run out of the garage. Thanks to Just Leokesh for most of the clean up.

Nuthin' But Net said...

That was fucking gross. God damn. That was just wrong.

milf_ckh3 said...

Might have wanted to mention the relocation of circle to my garage in the first place due to the massive amount of pansyness displayed as the pack neared the on-in.

But on second thought, I am enjoying a keg of On-On in the garage.

Nuthin' But Net said...

MILF, we need to get you a kegerator. I am selling my old fridge if you're interested. I'm sure we can work out a good deal.

Nuthin' But Net said...

Hey, we have another Kimchi mug order. "Aquatic Ass Raper" Wants one. He sent out a check to me this morning. I'll front the cash if need be.

Nuthin' But Net said...

One more thing- Dani and Brownie wont be able to make the green dress run due to a marathon that morning.

They said they'll be in the Springs by 3:00 PM.

Kind of throws a wrench in Dani's naming. What do we do?

Just Dani said...

¡DenomĂ­nela durante un en-en despuĂ©s del partido!!!

Translation: Name her during an on-on after party!!! Like 4:30-5pm or something....

Lick My Lincoln said...

I say we beat them both with wet noodles!

And then make them each do a Mad Dog 20/20 down down!

And them tie them to the bumper of the Arctic van and drive them around town like deer on a pickup.

I'm going to have a beer now ...