I call Net up after work today and I says, "Dude, it's St. Patty's Day, let's go to Murphy's for a beer."
Net replies, "I can't. I'm buying carpet."
So I assume he's talking about eating a chick out. Which is fine by me, but C-4 is like 18 months pregnant, which I'm guessing would be pretty gross. Not that I've ever gone down on a pregnant chick, of course.
But he explains to me that he is actually at the carpet store, buying the kind of carpet you put on your floor. On St. Patrick's day.
What a fag!